Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Another Sort of Haywire Thinking. . .

Updating my blog is the last thing on the earth, especially when it comes to writing my new stuff down. This time, an urge from deep down the bottom of my heart compelled me to put my thoughts in black and white. It may not be all that important or essential to understand the hidden meaning behind this post, but it certainly depicts a very important phase in this rugged life of mine.” Taking admission in the coveted JNU is not a child’s play”, this statement was made by one of my seniors in the wily little air of north campus, Delhi University when I managed to crack the tough nut- the entrance. The whiff in the air was pertinent; I could sense something blowing in the air. The first day of the admission was completely freaking out to the core. The queue seemed scary at the beginning but then as things started falling in place, it appeared more than just a simple admission process. Swarms of politically active people were wading their way through the group of hopeful aspirants waiting for their tryst with the administration of JNU. The administration appeared totally off bounds as the number of students kept on increasing at a steady pace. I never imagined in the wildest of my dreams that the turn out will be humungous. More than the students, it was the rush created by their parents who were more than anxious to get their kids admitted. Half of the queue was occupied by either the guardians or the siblings of the students seeking admission. But my brother turned out to be completely the opposite. He stood right away from the queue, simply keeping an eye on me and waiting their patiently for the entire process to get over. The clock struck 1 with the “lunch” aroma hanging high in the air. I submitted my documents, received a token and was asked to come at 2.30 after lunch.

My hunger pangs forced me to taste the famous JNU fish curry with its awesome flavor roving in the air, attracting people to the small kiosk in large numbers. The rates had been inflated a bit, but they deserve all the attention in the world. The food was yummy, a total paradise for all the hoggers in the world. I got so engrossed in finishing off my lunch that my brother decided to move to his office and I was supposed to finish off the admission process on my own behest. After the lunch hours, I moved on to the famous “administration” building with that miniature token in my feeble hands to be welcomed by a huge rush of some thousands of people jostling, pushing and shoving each other to get their documents verified. The number of documents to be verified, a freaking 15 in number which can drive any sane person on this earth completely nuts. The saving grace was that I was able to spot a lot of familiar faces my DU, who were not only frustrated with the entire admission process but also tired and disgusted to the core.

A few of the statement below would make things more crystal clear:
“In DU, we just had one single form to fill-up and submit the fees along with. No hassles, no standing in huge queues.”

“One counter for receiving thousands of applications, this is certainly not the way we expected JNU to be like. Reputed university acting in such a disorganized way is the height.”
“Waiting in the line is not the issue but why are the parents also jostling for space in such a cranny old line? Why can’t they just leave their kids to finish off the admission process independently? They are over-anxious and over-hyper”
The last statement was made by me but it was definitely one of the most striking things around. My turn came at around 6:30 in the evening and when I came out with half-completing the admission process, it was already 7:15. I was completely blown out (quite literally) in a way the entire university was organized. The next day was not an ordeal but thankfully just a simple admission process which just finished off in an hour. After a roller-coaster one and a half day of admission process, now I can finally proudly call myself a “JNUite” after such a tedious admission process.

A new campus beckons me. It’s a new world out there. Expectations are galore. Now I simply need to work my way out and find my destiny.

Sunday, June 14, 2009

I love Summer. . .I love Nature!!!!

The beaming sun rays make their hasty entry into her room every morning. The swooshing of the curtains disturbs her long-drawn out sleep but she can’t do anything to put an end to this uncanny noise. It’s 12 in the morning… Yes! It’s morning for her and afternoon for the rest of the world and she is still lazily moving in her bed, pondering over the fact whether she should shed her slumber driven activities or take the plunge out of the bed and wake up. The A/C in her room is making her do all the moves in her teeny-weeny little bed. She likes the chilled breeze that it produces. After all it’s summer time. The creatures of the earth are parched till their throats go dry and this nippy air is making her do all the sleazy moves. Everyone is not endowed with this luxury, so why shouldn’t see enjoy? The summers anyway make life hell for every creature. She hates nature for creating a season called SUMMER. What’s the use of such a season, she ponders sometimes, when she is not sleeping!!! Like a typical Bollywood flick, she imagines herself to be the protagonist, the little darling of the entire house, dancing away to glory, with cool wind swishing past her face, her hair flowing like an unending river and her skin stimulated with the mere touch of air. Her imagination takes a wild turn, when she accidentally, bumps into her alarm clock, lying next to her bed, breaking it into tiny pieces. The alarm clock played spoil sport and its shrilling noise shook the entire household. The A/C got switched off and it was back to the grind for her.

It was boiling hot outside in the garden. Her punishment was to tend the entire garden and make it presentable for the guests, supposed to arrive in the evening. Gardening, at 2 in a June afternoon is like a nightmare but she deserved this for her wayward behavior. Perspiring and respiring, she began her work with ‘that look’ on her face. “Aargh!!!” that’s her first response the moment she picked up the hedge trimmer. Burning hot. It seemed as if she had touched the Mars with her tiny fragile hands. Like a malnourished laborer, she sluggishly made her way towards the plants. Little by little, she started trimming them. Cut her hands in between. Cried a little. Suddenly, she began eyeing the sun. It was way too bright for her to focus but she did not give up. The sun was beating down on her very heavily. The rays of the solar planet were slowly penetrating each and every creature of the planet, including the plants. Then she began to wonder, to humans, the sun produces tan in summer, but for the plants it gives them life throughout. Summer is pathetic for humans, but for plants it is still very essential. Even though they shrivel and wither in the summer then it’s not because of the sun but due to the inhuman treatment by so-called humans! There was a flicker of smile and apathy on her childish face. She watered the plants, cut them to the prefect length, winked at the sun and wiped the beads of sweat that had collected on her forehead. At the end of the day, she wasn’t complaining. She knew. She had done a good deed this SUMMER!!!

Summer is what we make out of it. . . Summers are not bad. . .Love every season that nature bestows on you… and make sure you give nature back something every season… Treat nature well and nature will treat you well. Cheers!!!

PS- This is my entry for the SUMMER HEAT contest for BLoggeratti. . .One of the famous and popular communities on Orkut. . . hehehe!!! :)

Sunday, June 7, 2009

Sucker Life

Ending of college life, the horrifying vacations, the frustrating summer afternoon with nothing to do but sleep, sleep, sleep. . . My life these days have become some sort of a nightmare! Nightmare seems to be just an underestatement, because it sucks to the core, beyond imagination. Time seem to pass by with such obligation. Even the clock stares at me with such ruthless intensity, saying, why the hell are you sitting idle all the time? Why can’t you do some work? ‘But what work”, I ask in response… “Any work, cleaning the house, washing clothes, arranging your room… (Remember divyanshi is going to drop by for lunch on Friday) and you shameless girl willembarrass yourself when she sees your dirty and filthy house! Humph! I am irritated by you and your sleeping aura!” This last sentence simply freaked me out of my wits… My sleeping habit is one which seems to strike a wrong chord with each and every person around me. My Dad scolds me for sleeping till late in the morning, my best friend, Divyanshi, detests my sleep because she always calls me up in the morning and I am busy wandering in my dreamland!!! Sometimes I think why the hell are people so concerned about my late waking up routine? I know I am sounding too frustrated, disturbed, annoyed, and complaining at the drop of the hat… Who is responsible for this? My life has made me like this… I suck… so does my life!!! 

Monday, April 13, 2009

I Wish...

You are struck in a traffic jam. Honking doesn’t help. Tempers flaring high. Frustration building inside. It is just you and your vehicle and the stupid old Red Light!!!

I still vividly remember the day while I was coming back from an outing with one of my close friends. It was one of those burning hot May Day when the Sun was shining way too brightly on top of us. We had decided to go out simply because it was DAY of freedom- Exams had finished and we had nothing better to do so we decided to strike it out. After traveling the whole of Delhi, that day, it was 6 in the evening when we started back to our respective places of safe haven. I boarded an auto thinking I would reach home swiftly in another 30 minutes but alas, I completely forgot about the horrendous Delhi jam. And during the office hours it is at its height. My autowallah turned off his gurgling vehicle and waited impatiently for the huge cars to start moving ahead. I was busy fixing my antique MP3 player when I heard a tap-tap sound. I looked around but could not figure out what it was or where that soft sound came from. Concentrating back on my mechanistic skills, I began fiddling with my MP3 yet again and there came a bang-bang sound. I again looked up curiously and to my surprise I found a little baby in a swanky Honda City playing with the window pane and banging hard on the glass. Its Pay-Attention-To-Me attitude impressed me so much so that I began staring at him intently. Like an interested spectator, I witnessed his juggling skills and tumbling over and what not. His na├»ve smile with fingers rolled up on his eyes, made me wonder… "Waooh... you are so lucky kid!!! You don't have to face the hurdles of life! You have a long way to go! And you can afford to enjoy, kick and smile! I envy you! Wish I was a kid again…. Wish I could get back my childhood yet again… Wish I could have those carefree days again in my life…. I spent the next 15 minutes watching his extra-ordinary kiddish antiques.

Suddenly the Honda City swooshed past me and the age-old Auto roared back to life. I realized the jam was clearing out. The child was gone and so was my smile. It was back to the grind. Tension loomed large. “I hope I reach safely back home. It was already past 7. Notorious Delhi and its traffic… Phew!!! “, my mind grumbled. This is ADULT LIFE.

Any takers???

Friday, April 10, 2009


“THE TIME HAS COME”, uttered my mind suddenly yesterday as I was busy cramming the facts of Plato and Aristotle for my upcoming final examination. This impulsive statement alarmed my heart and it woke up with a start. “Yeah, the time has come…but for what?” asked my heart in a semi-interested and laid-back tone with a tinge of casualness. It sounded a little sarcastic but to be frank, my heart’s flippant attitude cannot be blamed. After all, my mind is infamous for issuing epiphany-oriented statements on a lot of occasions earlier. “The time to indulge in some serious thinking”, elucidated my mind with sheer seriousness.

My heart uncovered the veil of ignorance from its face by widening its eyes to the maximum limit. Affairs of the heart (with its own niceties) are slightly different as compared to the matters of the mind. My heart appeared a little aware about the time-related conversation initiated by my brainy mind. “I see…but wait a second… thinking about what exactly?” questioned my heart sitting upright in a Thinking Man pose (Read: My heart is frivolous and crazy with a funny bone… Yes! My heart possesses a bone… I know it’s a tricky fact for the biologists to digest) Choosing his words carefully my mind answered, “Thinking about LIFE… the most underestimated and underrated statement ever uttered by mankind”.

The answer did not convince my heart and it was brimming with queries. Its thirst for knowledge is unbearable and sometimes even I start wondering- Is it really my heart or has God transplanted some other Homo Sapiens’s heart in me by mistake? “And why this sudden inclination to think about Life?” asked my curious heart. My mind could sense that this question was on its way and the moment it was delivered my mind simply blurted out, “Because I am frustrated… frustrated with a capital F. It is high time I let some steam off my chest. I want to vent out all the pent-up frustration. They are pouncing to dash out any moment now. I really can’t take it anymore. I feel like tearing my hair apart or smashing someone’s brain out. There seems to be no way out… no way out for relief… no way out for any sort of happiness… and where dark, gloomy days reign in full blow. Even crying does not lighten my burden of woes. I hate this. Haven’t you ever faced such things? Don’t you ever feel like running away from this wretched life??? ”.

My heart was speechless. Silence prevailed. No one said anything. (Read: No one implies my heart and it dared not crack any silly joke at this point as it’s always used to). My heart did not anticipate such an impulsive eruption of emotions. Even I was taken aback by this sudden outburst of my own mind. Whoa! That was heavy! Tired, worn-out and busted to the core… Everything had fallen apart and torn to pieces… The last straw of hope seems to have been dashed to the ground… the ray of the light through the rear crooked view did not materialize as expected… My mind was facing a sudden blackout and my heart went out for it.

Finally my heart gathered all the courage in the world. Shaking its head silently, it muttered slowly, “Yes, I DO… I do understand there are times in life when you feel totally down and dejected… When you feel like the biggest LOSER on the entire planet … When you just wish to shut yourself up from the outside world… Disappointment looms large… But that does not mean you give up living. You might be totally down but not out. Frustration is not the end of the world. You have to understand that human life is full of miseries and obstacles. We ought to take these hurdles in our stride, accept the challenge and work towards securing a brighter future. Where there is a WILL there is certainly a WAY out. So keep that WILL of yours flying high in the sky. Don’t let it collapse so easily. Don’t give up”.

My heart won over my mind. I shut my book, switched off the lights and closed my eyes. I couldn’t wait for the next day’s morning sun to shine brightly on me. After all I had to find the WAY out to fulfill my WILL. I will never GIVE UP on my life so easily.


Does It Exist???

I am alone, down but not out of this world. Every night I lie down on my bed, cry a little and then close my eyes and pray to God. Feeling the frustration inside sometimes I feel that I am the biggest loser on this earth. At times, I wish I could just fly away from this tray of sorrows, to a place where only peace and happiness resides. No pain… no grief… no heartache to encounter… solace to the aggrieved mind and heart. I need a place where I don’t have to face the vagaries of a heavy human life and can carry on living with untold boundaries. I yearn for a place where every faltering step does not lead to sadness. Does such a place exist? Does such a place exist on this planet?

I never complained to God for my wretched life. I never blamed God for giving me unending miseries because humans are bound to face rejections, unhappiness and despondency at one or the other point in their life. It is an unstated statement… It is a universal truth which we all learn in the nascent years of our life. From time immemorial, human beings have understood this ugly fact and learnt to live with it. But sometimes it simply becomes too much to handle and you dream of transporting yourself to such a place where you don’t have to worry or cry or scream out of frustration. I really need that place… My heart questions, “But does such places exist here? If yes, then where? And how to find it!!!”. Silence prevails… I don’t have any answers…

Do you have any???